When I close my eyes and think about my city, I realise that it perhaps has never existed in the way I imagine it. My conception of Panama City has been informed by my constant exploration of the urban space, hence it is a very personal one. Two years ago I found the perfect word to describe this activity: flânerie. Walter Benjamin was the first writer to properly study and analyse the figure of the flaneur because he himself was one, and perhaps one of the greatest urban wanderers of all times. Benjamin, a Berlin-born philosopher, describes his city with so much attention to detail that it made me think about my relationship to the place where I was born and raised.
I started to reflect about my city after moving to the UK. It didn't matter how often I explored the streets of my new home in Leeds; something was missing. After a year abroad I was back home and I felt like I was seeing the streets of Panama City for the very first time. It was an awakening. Yet again I find myself in a new city. Upon my arrival in Berlin I picked up a copy of "Stadt des Flaneurs: Berliner Orte" by Walter Benjamin from the bookstore at Hermannplatz. Benjamin's texts create a fascinating panorama of the German capital at the beginning of last century. One of my favourite parts of the book was his description of the streets of Berlin based on a comparison after returning from a trip to Moscow. He mentions how wide and clean the streets of Berlin are compared to those of the Russian city. His vision of the city changed once he looked at it with the eyes of an outsider, which is pretty much how I feel about my city now.
The life of the flaneur was and will always be a life dedicated to the exploration of the mundane aspects of the everyday. These intervals of careful observation help us recognise the features that make a place unique. It has given me a sense of belonging which I didn't have before. But above all, it has given me new eyes and a love for details: the most wonderful part of our existence.
The language of the city reveals itself to those who are open to all the spontaneous events that might take place during an urban exploration. Such as last November when I was strolling around La Central, Panama City's busiest shopping avenue. All of a sudden raindrops started falling on my head. For those who have never visited a tropical country during the rainy season, raindrops and stormy clouds are the cue to run and seek for shelter. It started pouring and I had nowhere to go when I saw an open door and heard someone's voice coming from the inside of what looked like a small workshop. The place was full of rusty fans and pictures of half-naked women, so I initially stayed by the door. The two men inside noticed my presence and one of them approached me and greeted me with a big smile. I introduced myself and he did the same. Don Cesar runs this small workshop at a corner in front of the fish market where he and his friend fix cooling systems for big companies and hotels. We watched together as a small car got stuck in the flooded street which equalled a mighty river. We laughed as we observed the vicissitudes that Panamanians have to face on a daily basis. This is our way of seeing the world: it is characterised by a humorous approach to inconveniences and the firm belief that things will fall into place eventually.
I came to realise that the city teaches me more about myself and what surrounds me than any book would ever do. But before you learn, you need to be patient and enjoy every step you take in your journey of self-discovery. To be a flaneur means to listen when the city speaks; it is a process of diving into the depths of the physical and imaginary constructions that are reproduced by any society and expressed through the city. A flaneur is a silent observer and a good student. Every place has stories to tell, and it is in the act of strolling and interacting with others that we discover the beauty of crowded and empty streets, of decaying buildings, and of city folk; it opens our eyes to the space that we share with other human beings, and makes us aware of the bonds we have with people that might seem distant but are closer to us than what we think.
My wanderings across the universe of Panama City gave me a connection to a place which I now wear as a second skin. But most importantly, every exploration was a discovery of our wonderful human mosaic that speaks of diversity, beauty, coexistence, and resilience.
After every city exploration I would go back to my house and sit in silence. During my silent reflections I would see all the images playing over and over again in my head.
The city where I was born taught me that small and big wonders exist. Above all, Panama City taught me to be a better human being, and for that I will forever be grateful.
“To lose one's way in a city, as one loses one's way in a forest, requires some schooling. Street names must speak to the urban wanderer like the snapping of dry twigs, and little streets in the heart of the city must reflect the times of day, for him, as clearly as a mountain valley. This art I acquired rather late in life; it fulfilled a dream, of which the first traces were labyrinths on the blotting papers in my school notebooks.”
― Walter Benjamin, Berlin Childhood around 1900
And now, Panama City through my eyes.
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| La Central. |
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| 20 Dic - duelo nacional, Santa Ana. |
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| Mercado de San Felipe. |
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| Calidonia blues. |
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| Jama Masjid. |
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| Salsipuedes. |
